There is a time, nearly every night, during which I wake. The time does vary; never is it solidly 3am.
I feel things more wholly as I waver between consciousness and sleep, and the emotions I feel when I "wake" are amplified like none other.
Last night my feeling was a feeling of you. I cannot describe it in an understandable sense. I woke feeling lonely, sad, empty, and missing you.
Tonight I intend to sleep through the night. Tonight I want no whole feelings. I just want you. I don't want to wake missing you any more piercingly than I already do. I do not want to wake wanting you. I do not want to wake with the fear that tomorrow today will have been a fantasy.
Instead I will saturate myself in each exquisite sensation the day brought. I will think until thinking becomes impossible. I will feel...I am feeling. The need is a reverberating echo in my bones. The fear is a sinister heaviness in my visceral organs. The desire needs no description, as it is the selfsame desire that drenches us both.
Please. It is a plea so heartfelt, so desperate. Please.