Last night was bruising and I am so weary. The ins and outs, the rights and wrongs don't matter. I wish I had more time to process, but processing will not change what happened. There were many transgressions on both sides. How can you mend your own bruising when that energy is needed to soothe another?
No one can remain strong incessantly. Caretaker that I am, I am so eternally thankful that when I needed to be weak I had someone there to be stronger than I. I am thankful for having such a good friend who provided a safe space and a nonjudgmental ear. As thankful as I am, I still wish it could have been you.
That brief embrace today, that limited touch of warmth against warmth, gave me enough to steel myself for what comes. I couldn't stay away, today of all days. I hope you don't mind.
Thank you for giving me what I needed, although you didn't know it at the time.