Focus

My sister recently said of me, "she spends her days mindfully." I puzzled over what she meant briefly, but then understood. Yesterday, I was mindful of every second. Instead of dwelling on a somewhat painful past, instead of building anxiety about possible outcomes for the future, I am focused on "here," on "now." You sharpen my focus, almost painfully so.

So yes, yesterday, I was mindful. I was aware of every scent and taste and word and smile and gesture and feeling of warmth. Every fleeting second is an indelible memory. I've recorded the feel of your back beneath my kneading hands, the faint scent of the lotion used on your skin, the gentle murmurs you make when the rub down feels particularly good. I am mindful of your presence.

Popping popcorn in your kitchen, minding the pan so the kernels wouldn't burn, I was nonetheless completely aware of you. Aware of the delicious heat emanating from you, aware of the love I felt between us, aware that at any point you were within my reach.

When I am with you, I live those moments. I am so wrapped up in the feel of us together, the rest of the world cannot intrude. If two people were meant to be, it's us, sweetheart.