Friday, January 25, 2013


I had such a marvelous couple of days with you, especially today. You are exactly what I have been seeking without any awareness of it. Because of the details of the situation I have had time to explore my emotions and not just rush headlong into them as is my usual wont.

You are intense and passionate, but loving and very sweet. We do click on many levels, and we click spectacularly on a sexual level. Lucky me. Have I ever been this engaged by a lover? Have I ever been so enraptured by each caress and nibble? I can't bring to mind any time I have been so present, any time the experience has been so pure...not clean, but distilled, concentrated, extracted to the basic bones of itself. What I think to do, I act upon, and so often my actions seem to be what you had wanted all along. Attuned. If I want to rub my cheek down the length of you back, inhaling your scent and biting gently...I do it. If I feel you want soft, then soft it is and every ounce of the love I feel for you is in my fingertips, tracing love-lines up the curve of your spine, swirling at your shoulder, and down down down your hip again. My love for you is on my lips, please take it, eat it up. My electric pulse beats the love I have for you, and you can soak it in, my chest pressed to your chest. Two violins. It is tough to leave the cocoon of your scent and warmth, but I carry it with me when I go.

No one tells you what love is like. No one prepares you for the multitude of emotions that come pouring down. Love is not one, it is many. Warmth, kindness, concern, empathy, desire, strength, will, attachment, need, respect, fondness, passion, joy, "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for." Profound. Yes. Do you know the deep of feeling I have for you?

Time and again I have affirmed to others, "Yes this is different, yes this is lasting." I have affirmed to those in my past who have asked, never once fully believing it myself, but always keeping my concerns buried. I don't know what makes love last to an 80th anniversary. I have told others things to keep them calm, reassured, never fully believing my words. There has always existed a certain amount of dissonance.

I do not feel dissonance with you. What I feel, I say, knowing you can handle the answers to the questions you ask. I have no idea how this well end, but as with the rest of life, the enjoyment is in the journey. Thank you for this journey.

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