Monday, October 1, 2012


Tonight's class was exhilarating. I pushed myself harder than I have in a long time; instead of hurting, I feel so much more alive. The problem with getting the blood pumping through every molecule of your being is the inevitable increase in blood rushing through every molecule of your being. I am so much more aware of each curve, muscle, sinew of my body. I am intimately conscious of my heart beating wildly, my breath quickened, my capillaries filled with life. Libido soars after a workout like I just had.

...and every ounce of that lust and fire and life has remained contained. The only time I should be this tied is bound before you, submitting like you so want me to submit.

I am so fucking tired of shutting myself down. Why live in a world of "no" and "can't" and "don't"? I have so much to offer, so very much to give, and it just remains contained. When do I get to be let out?

Yes, I desperately want. I want hot, sweaty, fucking on the floor because making it to the bed doesn't matter sex. I want something physical, passionate, and earth shattering; I know it is there, I want it.

Do you know why people are attracted to me? I have a theory. Sure, maybe I have something physical people are attracted to, and yes I can be good and sweet and kind and nice. I can be nurturing. More than anything though, I have a fire for life. I see what life has to offer, and I indulge in every minute of it. I'm not letting go, I'm not giving up.

So yes, when I am in a deep hip opening pose, my knees and hips and legs spread as far as they will open, my torso flat on the ground, my arms stretched as far as they can reach ahead of me, letting all that tension go...know that I think of you. Know that I think of laying prostrate before you in such a manner. Know that I think of being hopelessly exposed, and perhaps a little embarrassed for it. Know that I would willingly do just about anything to thrill you.

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